Civility

Civility

CIVILITY: noun

1) formal politeness and courtesy in behavior or speech: I hope we can treat each other with civility and respect

2) polite remarks used in formal conversation : she was exchanging civilities with his mother

In early use the term denoted the state of being a citizen and hence good citizenship or orderly behavior.

Believe it or not there was a time when people actually talked to each other instead of just yelling.  It was a time when people could disagree without being disagreeable; a time when a debate meant orderly discourse and not a shouting match.

The recent Presidential primaries and the upcoming election have reinforced to me once again the complete lack of respect we have for each other in this country today.   South Carolina, where I live, went through a fierce Republican primary fight, yet I would wager that not one in five of the electorate could today tell where most of the candidates stood on the issues.  It all seemed to center around the dog on Romney’s car roof and Gingrich’s ex-wife.

The lack of civility in this country is not the preserve as politicians.  Recently I watched as the President of the United States, while making a speech, was repeatedly interrupted by a reporter.  Shame on that member of the media and anyone who cannot respect the Office of the President regardless of the occupant.  Harry Truman once fired the most publically popular general in the U.S. Army making the comment, “I don’t give a damn what he says about Harry Truman but he will damn well not disrespect the office.”

Now we are approaching the election of that same high office and the focus on one side is on Romney’s tax returns and, yet again, where President Obama was born on the other. Instead of strategists, both major parties now hire attack dogs whose only qualification seems to be that they be able to scream louder on news shows than their counterparts.  I find this embarrassing both as an American and as a member of a supposed civilized culture.  If you want to see a stark contrast to the current environment queue up the Kennedy/Nixon debates on YouTube sometime and listen for a few minutes. What you will see is perhaps boring though relevant to the times.  What you will also see is two men who shared a great deal of personal animosity but were able to put that animosity aside and act “civilly” towards each other for the benefit of the debate.  You will also see there is no live audience to incite or influence the discussion.

 As long she was alive we visited my wife’s grandmother whenever we came to South Carolina.  It never failed that as we were leaving, her last words to us were always the same: “Y’all be nice to each other.”  Mr. Romney and President Obama, you don’t have to like each other.  You don’t have to agree with each other.  However you can keep a civil tongue and be nice to each other.

Be nice to each other.  Good advice for presidents and paupers alike.

As Time Goes By.